This is an experience. Usjt read. Justread.

Ok, a bit of context, it's 2 in the afternoon and K and I ate some brownies in the morning, special ones.

it's amazing. Way more mellow and good that a split. Here it goes up slower and lo,ger. 

It's goes from the stomach to your throat and your nose up to the head. THe high is good my brltherssss

SO yeah way better than a split when the high goes straight to the head and punch you in the face and makes you want to be on a ship in the middle of a storm in the bermudas triangle rather than sitting on this chair smoking with these 5 people who feels like their are a thousand in the room/

yeah so We had sex after the funny brownie and tripped out for half an hour later out of our head on the bed. boy that's also gooooooood.

so now the plan is to eat something and got get a coffee in rainy stockey (stoke newington little name for the connoisseurs).

Bisous from highhhh above. 

René, je vous aime et j'ai hate de vous voir bientôt à parisiiiii

Bisous d'amour de love du ciel. 

PS : I hereby vow to not change or correct the text from now on the monday 14 nov the 2016 at 14:19 in the afternoon to keep the authenticity of this writing and wo'ds intact. Written in the stone of my macbook white 2008 santa rosa HARD DRIVE. BTW I need a new computer this one is really ((..Here i mark a pause in the text because K just told me "I want to eat some french fries" and I totallystopped writing to kiss her and tell her that we should order burgers from deliveroo right now and that's a great idea but finally now we gonna wait to logo and theres food just on thi kitchen…)) 

yeah this one computer is old realluy. II need a faster new one but i like this sitty old one, it keeps me focused on the writing. Not the gaming, internet and all this bullshit everything else. 

I tap and tap and tap and on the keyboard like a mother fucking hemingway in the movies and i feel like kerouac on the road of his writing machine beating the shit out of the ink. 

Y ah my friends, that's a high and on drugs writing experience right there. In the mind of a higjhman?.

"Pleaaaase Renouuu, I want some food" is saying me K on the bed next to me on my right. The window is open on our grey sky in London. Not rain todayyyyy heyyyy/ 

Here is my queue. René's out. Peace. and I hereby engage, will you marry me ? 

(here is explained to K the signification of the quote "I hereby engage, will you marry me ?" that is fgonna become my signature from now on. ) René's out for a second time now. 

I have the extra strengh to publich on the blogg noW.

Along the canal

You hear the wheels of the five nice to fivers.
The darkness is awoken by the cycle bells.
A shadow appears in the lights for a brief moment,
catching the promess of your emptiness.
There is no one on the canal, just passengers. 

Look at him cry.

I just look at him cry, as soon as we entered the plane, I knew it was gonna happen, I've seen the look on people's faces before, but never for my own blood. I see his face being torn apart, his cheeks becoming red and the mouth opened like a torrent of emptiness.

I'm deaf and he cries in the plane, that could be the dream of anybody, not being able to endure the torture of your own baby disturbing and giving headaches to a whole plane. I'm just dumb here, not knowing what to do, turing my head around and seeing people blaming me for the noise of another.

But there is nothing I can do, I try to calm him down, to sing a song with a voice unknown to myself. Maybe that's even worse, maybe the abnormal sounds coming out of my mouth, the serenade I hope to be just is just an awful sound for his newborn ears.

I can feel judgment and complain without the words, I am just calm as I am not disturb by the nuisance that is my son at this moment, I still love him as much, I don't regret any decision, I don't ask myself what could have been this trip without this soul sitting on my laps. For me he's just a weight I carry on me, some heat in this cold compressed cabin.

I am actually laughing at his face, enjoying the perks of my condition, smiling at my sidekicks and looking like an angel sharing this trip to earth.

You see, sometimes it's hard not to hear the words but good not to hear the screams. 

A place for dogs

You understand that something is wrong in a city when the dogs have a better life than some of the humans that live and work there.

In London you see few homeless and many dogs walked by paid walkers in nice winter coats, green parks and following a strict healthy diet. 

When the money becomes so meaningless, give it to your dog rather than your brother, the dogs might smell better...

I hate this, fucking L. 

The petrified forest

She's got bette davis eyes already, she's eighteen, smart and living in a shithole in Arizona.
Poetry, words and a window on the world appears as an american gentleman, failed writer and newly self proclaimed gipsy coming from france.

It's the meeting of these 3, the lost girl with big ideas, the failed writer with no hope and the gangster trying to escape the police to Mexico.

Free spirits meet in this room where everything can start or end, death, love, rebirth in a new place...

The poetry is sublime, the eyes are just starting to sparkle and the life is rough but truthful.

Stupid

I call you stupid or annoying when you are.
I doesn't mean you are stupid and annoying,
It means sometimes you can be.
But then I tell you this, you are so scared of being,
that you start acting stupid.
Well, then you are.
Trust me, everyone can be stupid and annoying sometimes,
the only thing is to understand that,
but for it you have to be smarter...

Victoria, one take, no escape. 9/10

Victoria is a prison. You don't have time to breath, underwater, stuck in the only take the movie was shot in. Here you are trap for 2h20 in the life of this spanish girl working and partying in Berlin.

Cut in a movie gives you time to breath, relax, think about what just happened, settle. The idea of a single shot is brilliant, especially when everything goes wrong. Then you are stuck in this nightmare, like when you see yourself drown and you just can watch the slow death.

Of course you can say the script is not a very long and complicated piece of writing, but it's good, good enough for the point here, live the experience of a night that goes bad. 

The actress, Laia Costa is amazing and the guy holding the camera, Sturla Brandth Grovlen is an ace.

Watch this. It's great. 

A bad barman makes a good...

Hi,

I hope 2016 is already a good year.

We haven’t met, so you already know who I might be.

First I thought of giving you some elements to show the writer, "worthy of your time" kind of applicant I am. Then I thought it would be boring to read on a friday. Seriously, who sends an application on a late friday afternoon...

Fact is, I’m already convinced by my skills, it’s not like I need to persuade somebody else about this to get a job right? I do?

Never mind, instead I decided to give you the reasons why I’m really not that good as a barman and a waiter.

That’s a better way for you to realize I’m so bad at these other jobs I must be a great creative writer.
I also master the “Digital world” as you may have noticed, with me starting to follow you on Twitter something like one hour before sending this application.

Smart eh? “D natives” they call us…

But you don’t care. No, the real interest is in my ridiculous experiences as working other gigs when I arrived in London one month ago while I was preparing this awesome application.

Act 1: English beers and "floaties".

First time I had an incident, as a waiter, was when a customer asked me if the pieces of seaweed inside her beer were supposed to be there. Being new in London, I told her it might be possible.
Well it was not.

Act 2: A barman is supposed to be confident

I really have no idea how to make cocktails and be a “cool” friendly bartender.
The last time I worked in that bar and went to tables asking “Do you need anything else?” “Can I take your glasses?” people seemed truly scared as if my face was yelling at them “I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING RIGHT NOW!!!”

Starting your trial shift by having a sample of every draught beer available in the bar before doing your work is not the best way to be efficient. Or is it?
The manager was nice though.

I’m hard working, funny and fast when it comes to get good ideas and pitch, not so much when it comes to pour alcohol in glasses with a huge crowd around me.

Let’s have a chat and talk about us, vacancies and movies.

I’ll bring beers, in bottles. That I can handle.

Kindest regards.

Move at the light

You know what annoys me the most in London, for now.

The stop lights. This is ridiculous.
London is supposed to be a big city, where people move, and are stressed and everything is fast and at the stop lights, nobody moves.
Fuck.
Really ?
The guy in the car doesn't move, I don't, the girl next to me doesn't, and so is the other car on the opposite side. It's like a frozen time and we all look silly.

So everyone is still for 10 seconds. And nothing happens.
Sometimes as a pissed off foreigner, preferably french, I'm so pissed I try to cross the street... and that's the moment a vehicle appears from nowhere and you step back.
Looking even sillier.

But when you do cross at the red light, oh boy, english people whispers...
"He's a foreigner... ohh what courage and bravery that implies" or just "fucking French".

The little girl's newspaper

There was this little girl, trying to read the newspaper, all this twice her size.
Sitting in the tube, all she really wanted was to look like an adult. 

I could have been a barista

I had a meeting on my first week in london for a position in a high standard coffee shop.
They consider coffee as wine, and the barista is the sommelier.
Let's just say when i arrived I probably drank coffee like 10 times in my life, no more, I'm not a coffee junkie, I hate mornings but instead of forcing me to wake up with coffee, I simply continue to sleep. Easy.

So I arrive in the shop and wanted to talk to the italian barista trainer for my interview. He is nice, and ask me to wait outside. He asks "you want a coffee", "of course, an espresso please". What else should I have said ?

"No, tea please."

I sit outside, there is an italian girl, seems like a waiter or employee of the coffee shop, crying and screaming on the phone outside. I already love this place.
The italian barista trainer sits with me and tells me the girl is his colleague, he then joins his hands in a prayer, looks at me and says "Women...".

I already like this man.
Judging by the screaming, tears and drama I think it has to do this sentimental life. But i like it, drama is life and boy she was living it fully.

I speak with him and general manger, it's ok, I say my stuff and he then asks me to follow him behind the counter to prepare a coffee.
Let me tell you I had looked on youtube how to prepare a decent coffee.
He does it. And then it's my turn. I take coffee inside the handle, I press it, espresso pours out, I steam the milk like a virgin and add it to the coffee with a huge smile on my face.
All the other employees were gravitating around me at this point. I looked like an ass. But I was having a huge laugh, in my head.

Two days later he offered me the position.
I could have been a great barista. But I wouldn't have been able to tell you this story. Next time maybe. 

A place

There is a place where all you want to know is nothing, where you get lost in a torrent of speed, stress and leisure. You spend, you go fast but you do not see. 

We were almost on top

We feel lost but we are almost there. Can’t go back against the road, the ground breaks on our own steps, there is no way to go except forward.

Why feel trapped when the road is huge and the windows are all open ?

Don’t have any chance to meet another living soul on the way to the top, everyone is walking alone on their own mountain, swimming in their own ocean. The space is limitless but you won’t see far away, just light the few meters that are ahead of you. I feel you are with me but you also have to walk on your own so if i fall i won’t bring you down with me, i can’t bear the responsibility of being the one that will make you stop on your way to the top. I walk slowly but i have strength. I don’t run, i let that to others. I need time and opportunity to look at the view. Each at their own rhythm, feeling what your abilities are and making the best out of it. Sometimes i just sit and think of the best way to make it, but you have to be careful not to think too much and feel paralyse on all the options that present itself to your view. Walking alone mean that i don’t benefit from the view of others, ideas and propositions to use a shortcut or to choose a different and more suitable road. You don’t need to know that you are almost at the top to stop and enjoy all the steps you already climbed. Only you can feel all the energy you have left to make it and get the rest to achieve the goal. But which goal, sometimes, the goal is not the top of the mountain, it can just be the walk itself.

And suddenly, for no particular reason you feel it’s the good time to start running, no thinking, just putting your feet one in front of another at a pretty fast rhythm because you can and you feel like it. So run you’ll have time to rest, trust me, plenty of time. And you’ll regret not running. So don’t overthink it. trust yourself and your instinct. You’ll rarely feel as powerful as on this sudden frenzy. Cause you know that even if it’s not a race, damn you’re winning.

What’s the point of reaching the top ?

When you’ll get there you’ll soon enough see the other mountain that just appeared. But see that’s exactly the point, you know that this mountain is not the only one you’ll have to climb. Feel blessed for this one or you’ll feel bored for every single step you make. Don’t envy the walking dead for they have no mountain to climb and no real need except the one to feed on you.

Your food is the walk itself, not the hunger for new things. You’re not hungry because you know that from now on, you’ll never feel the need to eat anymore. When you walk you know it feeds you every second of it. You are not walking towards a certain kind of treat, it is the treat. Of course you’ll fall and break but this will show you how much stronger you are than what you thought you’ll be. It’s your own job to see that and make it happen. The more you move forward, the less you’ll know and the better you’ll feel about not knowing and not wanting to get it all and understand. Because the point is there is nothing to understand or to get from it all except the precise action of walking towards this emptiness that will feed you and fulfill all you need. Fight your way to the top looking in front of you and no thinking of what everything looks like on top of it all.

You want to be remembered as the one who tried to climb every possible mountain or obstacle that showed on your way, not for getting there because you’ll be alone. trying to reach every possible living soul. Cause the best reward is your ability to impact and reach your hand to all the others trying to make it to the top as you did, maybe at a different high, not yours, but always higher, that’s for sure. When it hurts it will mean you are on the right road cause you’ll produce only sweat and from this sweat and blood is the greatness that’s coming out in the open for everyone to witness. Or you’ll feel that way but soon also realize that also with breathing and being is the right thing to do and to rush out of you. Just being and make is all you need to get it all out of your system. And when it’s out it’s good because you’ll be the only one to produce such energy , neither you want it or not, it’s your blessing and your curse. Even if it feels like nothing, it’s all you need and the ones next to you need from you to get the best of it.

We were almost on top and we could see down. We wanted to reach the sky and ask for everything, so nobody could tell us what to do.

We knew everything was left to do, that even if we were high, there was some things to loose, that the ground was not that far away and that we could get really hurt, real bad.

It was not a reason to stop, even if we felt like shit, if we wanted to look at the view, look down on what we already achieved. Just sit and relax, say to yourself you may not be at the top, but there is a hell of a lot of people standing under you and who just wish to be at your place.

You just hope to have enough strength to continue, to keep going without asking too much question about life, and how long you need to keep walking

But we are almost on top. We were and we still are. Maybe because you just should never want to reach the top, because after that there is nowhere to go, except to jump and crash down.